Michael’s Computer-Notes App
February 4, 2023 | 10:30 AM
Well, gosh. I am triggered. I just finished up a meeting with Jan, the Vice President of Sales, who informed me that there would be some office restructuring occurring in the coming weeks. At first blush, I was excited. There would be an office merger and new people would join our office family. I have always enjoyed meeting new people and I am always looking for new friends. When Jan mentioned that my branch would be closing down in the next three weeks, I couldn’t believe it! I was stunned. I’m still stunned. After everything I’ve done– seven years as a salesman and now five as Regional Manager– corporate decides to slash my kingdom with a machete.
I am a 44-year old white man who has given his all to this company. I bring a flavor of inclusivity that can’t be found anywhere else. Everyone here loves me! I can see the admiration they have for me in their eyes. I know they are thinking, “Wow, what a bro boss. He just gets us and makes the world make sense.”
Jan told me in confidence not to tell anyone in the office about this until an official letter is sent out by the corporate office. But these are my troops. They deserve to know the truth and nothing but the truth. As I wipe the tears away from my eyes, I know that no one is going to stand in my way to tell them what’s really going on. I think they should know now. This is a family matter.
Pam’s Computer-Notes App
February 4, 2023 | 10:45 AM
No. No, no, no, no, no. How could this happen? About fifteen minutes ago, Michael stepped out of his office and started walking suspiciously around the bullpen and then around the front of my desk. I glanced over at him and inquired what the matter was. This is what our conversation looked like:
Pam: Michael, is everything alright?
Michael: Never been better. (His voice cracked and his eyes darted around when he said this).
Pam: Um, really? You’re making circles around my desk and you won’t stop making eye contact with me.
Michael: Just getting exercise. Gotta stretch the knees, you know?
Pam: So what did Jan want?
Michael: Well, you know. We were just, um, reminiscing about car dealership stories.
Pam: You were crying.
Michael: Don’t worry about it Pam. Just continue to do your work… while you still can.
Pam: Michael, is the branch closing?!?
At this point, everyone in the office jumped out of their seats and began bombarding Michael with questions. The accountants swarmed around him and wanted to know if they were safe because they are essential. The salespeople started talking amongst themselves to see if they could start their own business. The only person who seemed unphased by this was Stanley, a salesman, who began yelling with glee: “Woo, baby!”
As for me, I’m really worried about this. I really need this job. I can’t support myself with this secretarial position. I have a car. I have an apartment. I need money and the means to support myself. My parents always spoke about the importance of supporting oneself financially when working. It was only a year ago when I started accumulating enough money to set aside and put into my savings account. But now that Michael said that the branch is closing, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m going to burn through my savings. I’m really worried about this. And, what will my parents think of me? Will they see me as a failure?
Maybe I could think about this in some different way. I’ve always been unhappy working here. Michael is a jerk and he treats us all like trash. I cannot even believe that he would break the news like this. He always thinks of himself as a father figure but wouldn’t a real father be honest with their children?
When I was a little girl and we were asked what we wanted to be when we grew up, I never wrote down secretary. I never dreamed of working as a secretary. I wrote down an artist. Maybe I should walk into his office and speak my mind. I’ve always dreamed of doing that.
Okay I’m going to sign off for now. Everyone is getting pretty restless now.
Talk later.
Stanley’s Computer-Notes App
February 4, 2023 | 10:45 AM
Today’s To do list:
- Pack up my stuff and try to get out of here.
- Find a way to cash-in my severance check.
- Buy a pontoon boat with the money and contact a realtor in Florida.
- Get home and celebrate with my wife Marjorie by opening up a pack of cigars and watching that football game.
Michael’s Computer-Notes App
February 4, 2023 | 10:56 AM
Well that was not the response I was hoping to get. I figured that rallying everyone up would make this entire situation better but apparently my plan backfired pretty badly. I feel awful. Maybe if I went out there again people would feel better? There has got to be a way to convince Jan that we should remain open. Look at these people! Nobody’s going to hire another Meredith. She couldn’t be hired anywhere else. She belongs here. The same goes with Jim, Creed, and Angela, etc. Everyone does such great work here. If we close, I’m going to lose custody over these people–my children!
Maybe an email to Jan would solve this whole debacle. Yeah, that’s what I’m going to do.
Michael’s Computer-Email
From: michael@ez-zip.com
To: jan@ez-zip.com
Subject: Re: Please
February 4, 2023 | 11:00 AM
Hi Jan,
Look, please don’t be upset with me but I told everyone right after you left about the branch closing down. They didn’t take the news as well as I’d hoped and now many of them are in tears. Some are on the phone calling different jobs looking for new positions. Some are packing up their belongings. They are really upset.
I don’t understand why the branch is closing. I am a great boss here and everyone loves me. Our numbers are good. We have really good business here and our clients are happy. I implore you to please keep our branch open. Don’t you remember that we have history? Would you really like to split up my family just like you split us up?
Please Jan, please. I need this. We all need this. Please at least think about what I’m saying.
Your ex-lover,
Michael
Regional Manager of Ez-Zip Inc.
Toby’s Computer-Notes App
February 4, 2023 | 1:11 PM
From the Desk of the HR Director:
Today’s been an interesting day. Jan came into the office this morning for our monthly meeting. She usually meets with Michael first and then walks to my cubicle to discuss confidential employee matters such as payroll and recruitment. But today was different. This morning, Jan walked into my office first before meeting with Michael, which I found a little peculiar. An expression of smugness was painted on her face. After our pleasantries, we sat down. She crossed her legs and commenced to tell me that she drove down from NYC to Allentown to trick Michael into thinking that the branch was closing. She wanted to test Michael and see how he would handle such an enormous loss. You see, Michael’s entire identity is centered around this job. A normal individual with Michael’s position may have been able to take this news with grace and acceptance, but not Michael. Jan was purposely setting him up for catastrophic failure.
Now, Jan can be a lot sometimes. What she was telling me was psychotic. I knew without a doubt that Michael would be unable to keep such terrible news to himself and like a father, he would have to be transparent to everyone. This obviously led to mayhem.
I looked back at Jan who appeared unabashed from the information she had just relayed to me with shock. She was staring directly into my eyes as if trying to penetrate my soul. She was waiting for my response. I told her she was out of her mind and couldn’t go through with this idea. She picked up her purse, got up from her chair and started to walk away. I am sad to say that I was too scared to stop her. She is really intimidating and scary.
I went to Michael’s office and tried to tell him what happened. Before I even walked through the threshold, he slammed the door in my face. We are not on the greatest terms. You may ask why I didn’t tell the office? I didn’t think it was my time or place to interfere. I sometimes come across as domineering as the Director of HR, and that is not how I want to appear. Anyway, I’ve come up with a solution. I’m about to send an email to Jan’s boss, David Wallace, the CFO, and confide with him everything that I’ve witnessed. I am confident that he will take a stand.
So long for now.
Toby’s Computer- Email
From: toby@ez-zip.com
To: david@ez-zip.com
Subject: Re: Unconventional Behavior
February 4, 2023 | 1:20 PM
Dear David,
I hope you are doing well and work isn’t too hectic right now. As you know, Jan visited our office this morning for our monthly check-in. During our conversation, Jan manifested unusual behavior, telling me that she was going to trick Michael into thinking the branch was closing. I tried to convince her not to go through with this but she ultimately refused. Now, the office is in chaos. People are shocked and scared. They are unsure of where their next paycheck is going to come from. Michael, as you can imagine, tried to calm everyone down but he didn’t do a good job going about it.
I see Jan as a continued danger to our organization. Please keep me in the loop as you navigate the best path to take for solving this issue. Thank you and I appreciate your time.
Toby
Director of Human Resources
Jan’s Computer-Email
From: jan@ez-zip.com
Subject: Re: Please
February 4, 2023 | 1:30 PM
How could you, Michael! Why did I think I could trust you with such news? You are jeopardizing everything. My position at this company is probably on the line because of you. You need to calm your staff down right now and calm yourself down as well. I know the news of your branch is grim, but as regional manager you need to unleash your leadership skills if you have any, and be a supportive and nurturing presence for your staff.
And never, and I say never, mention our relationship again. Period. That is a red line which may not be crossed.
Get to work.
Jan
Vice President of Sales
Pam’s Computer-Notes App
February 4, 2023 | 1:33 PM
Well, it’s getting worse. People are packing up their belongings. They’ve started opening up filing cabinets to recycle old forms and documents. The sound of the industrial shredder is filling the air. Stickers and flyers are being removed by the dozen from the filing cabinets, desktop computers and the communal fridge. It’s absolutely appalling.
People are not shy of vocalizing their opinions. Right now, Angela, Oscar and Meredith are standing in line outside of Michael’s office. Michael, however, has locked the door and drawn the shades. I think he’s too ashamed to face us. I feel a little bad for him but at the same time it was his poor leadership that led to this happening.
My feelings have leveled out a little bit. I’m still pretty anxious about everything but I’m more open to pursuing my interests now. I think art school may be in the cards now. I need this day to be over so I can escape this stressful atmosphere.
Talk Later.
David’s Computer-Email
From: david@ez-zip.com
To: toby@ez-zip.com
February 4, 2023 | 4:00 PM
Hi Toby,
Thank you so much for your message. I appreciate your candor and honesty about this entire situation. I know this business fairly well and I have never heard of such behavior from Jan. I emailed my colleagues and the board and we all mutually agreed that Jan will be taking a leave of absence in response to her actions. There may be questions regarding why she wasn’t terminated. I posed this as an option while discussing Jan’s potential consequences and there weren’t enough votes.
I’m going to email Michael now and let him know that the branch isn’t closing. I think it would be a good idea not to tell him that Jan was abusing him through this so-called “prank.” I think it would only make matters worse if he knew.
Again, thank you for communicating your concerns. I appreciate your partnership as we continue to navigate this interesting time.
Best,
David Wallace
Chief Financial Officer
Michael’s Computer-Notes App
February 4, 2023 | 4:20 PM
I did it! Oh my gosh, I did it! How did I do it? I don’t know how I did it but I did it! I saved the day! The branch is safe! It’s not going to close! Ahhhhhhh!!!! I’m so happy! Maybe my email to Jan actually worked. Perhaps she had second thoughts about the branch closing. But her decision sounded so definite before. Why would she change her decision? I guess my negotiation skills from being a salesman assisted me today. I’ve still got it.
Well, it’s time to tell the gang about this news. I’m sort of like Santa Claus to them right now– here to present them with the gift of employment.
It’s time to party.
Pam’s Computer-Notes App
February 4, 2023 | 4:35 PM
Pandemonium. Absolute Pandemonium. People are so happy. I’m so happy. My job is secure! When Michael walked out of his office and announced the news ten minutes ago, chaos ensued. Seats became empty as people began embracing one another. The energy in this room has been restored. Angela even started crying! I feel so much better right now, like a whale’s blowhole that has been unclogged. I can breathe again. Before I felt as if I was drowning in a sea of sadness and darkness. Now, I’m feeling great!
How Michael convinced corporate to let us stay open is a mystery to me. I don’t want to call Michael a good boss but I guess he did one thing right.
Wow, what a day. What a day.
Stanley’s Computer-Notes App
February 4, 2023 | 4:40 PM
Today’s To do list:
Pack up my stuff and try to get out of here.Find a way to cash-in my severance check.Buy a pontoon boat with the money and contact a realtor in Florida.Get home and celebrate with my wife Marjorie by opening up a pack of cigars and watching that football game.
Now I have to wait until 65 to retire. Ugh.
